Everything and nothing

My fingertips reach
for the bright lights,
tear one off
only to find a Christmas bulb,
small, flickering and out of season

Love looks blinding in the distance,
up close a red blinking sign:
Drunk on a feeling
Choking on bile
A bitter film coats
the back of throats

A sweet rock candy
gone sour from sucking
the color no longer a bright pink
but a dull hospital lime green
Hard, small and beady
it rolls around tongues

Love is blinding
When seen from a distance
The longer you stare at the sun
the less you see
Shadows dance behind closed eyes
Black dots hover

Spots burn like cigarettes
into a light, white fabric,
create crusty black and brown holes
Rips in the world
I hold it up to the light
and look through a portal
A round window facing the sea
A calm, immense blanket
of deep, dark blue
covers everything

Until I am so close
Condensation leaves white clouds on the glass
It waits for fingers to draw initials
A flannel gray sheet
subsumes the present
lifts it with a breeze
and light floods in again
so bright it seems dark
and I’m so close
I see nothing and everything at once